ADDRESS OR DISMISS?

As the sun goes down in stochastic colours and the rain falls softly on the window pane, you run your fingers along the fogged glass. You doodle, write alphabets and then wipe it off with your hands. It's so still outside, the day has come to an end, people are returning home from work, kids have finished with their play. But the thoughts running in your head don't come to a rest. They've been walking in and out of your mind throughout the day. But you chose to do nothing about them.

They started the minute you opened your eyes to a bright sunny morning. But you closed your eyes again to blink them away. You showered your speculations away, pat them dry. Poured a cup of coffee over your deliberations. And chose to do nothing about them.

You drove to your workplace the same way as your mind raced - broke signals, almost killed a dog. You heard half the instructions at work because half of your mind was preoccupied, and delivered half of that because of the same. 

But you chose to do nothing about them.

Because there's so much to do already, so much to establish that there is no time to address the thoughts that might actually be hampering your growth. These unsaid expressions, most often, affect those around us more than they affect us. But we confine ourselves to a room, absorbing ourselves with our needs and wants, while the others, tired of waiting, quietly close their doors on us. 

Thoughts are always tangled in knots. But knots can loosen if you pull one right string. To know which string, you need to think. But we know that this action itself might just create a larger web. Getting caught in this web of too many thoughts brings about unwanted anxieties and hypothetical situations, which is quite unnecessary.

Which brings us to a question no one has still been able to answer - exactly how much thinking is over thinking? 

And how much is essential?

What to address...and what to dismiss?

                                           GOOD OR BAD?


There is a name in Mongolian history synonymous with unbashed cruelty and unmatched brutality. Genghis Khan - meaning 'the universal ruler' - conquered almost the entire world, but in the bargain butchered millions, beheaded cities and terrorized all with his barbaric ways. He would kill the defeated by trampling them with horses, stretching them till their bones split, slicing them slowly while still alive, burning them before they die. It is said that people hoped and waited to see how this callous man would perish - and wished him the most painful, terrible death.

Amidst speculation, he passed away of old age, peacefully in his sleep, like any regular 70 year old, surrounded by a loving family, faithful friends and a bunch of loyal soldiers.

So often, we come across people we perceive as bad, even evil, but we notice that suffering does not seem to touch them - atleast not as much as meted out by them. Their personal grief, we would never be fully aware of, but the overall picture life paints of them looks perfectly fine.While the others, with big hearts and kind words, somehow manage to always bruise themselves, left, right and center. Does this not totally contradict what we have been taught ever since we remember - that good happens to the good, and bad happens to the bad?

Where does this place the theory of Karma - which says what you do will come back to you?

An almost satisfactory explanation to this would be that in the 'end' - the good wins and the bad rots in hell. But isn't life a journey of events and not a mere destination? How good and how satisfying can a win in the end be, if the entire journey was unhappy? And clearly, not all bad things come to a bad end - luck favoured famously the brutal king.

Actually, the fault lies in that one teaching which is the cause of this conflict we all face at some time in our lives. Only good will not happen to the good and only bad will not happen to the bad. All of us have been given packets of good events and bad events, which will take place - IRRESPECTIVE of whether one is a good person or a bad one. Just because someone is labelled as 'bad' he would not miss out on this share of good happenings in his life and if someone is believed to be 'good', that does not mean that no bad can harm him.

That means that being a good person or a bad one - which is how most of us inevitably classify the people in our life - is nothing but a mere choice left to us.

The same things happen to both - how we live them and how we deal with them depends on what we've chosen to become

Strange Connections.

You're sitting by yourself in the train, reading a book. You see a man sitting ahead of you - average looking, tired - looking outside the window. You smile, he smiles, there's a small conversation about the heat, the population. You get back to reading, he gets back to the window. Both slightly refreshed.

You're busy working when a client comes along with a 2 year old giggling baby. You leave work temporarily, however important it is, smile, touch his cheeks, shake his hands and baby talk with him, without knowing if he can answer you back. You get back to work, he gets back to his giggles. Both slightly happier.

You're at the local departmental store buying shampoo. You see a woman searching for a particular brand of soap. It hasn't been that long, possibly she would've found it a minute or two later. But you offer help. In return, she advises you on a better brand of shampoo. You both get back to shopping. Both slightly grateful.

What is it about certain people that you feel completely at ease with them? You would not talk to every stranger, cuddle every baby, help every person or always appreciate advice from someone you don't know. What makes us share this comfort level with a few unknown people  - their Aura? their Energies? or simply, a Strange Connection?

Probably this could explain strong bonds of friendship between two drastically different people. Or between people who've met just a couple of times and get along now like a pair of twins. Or between people who are never in constant touch but when they talk, it seems like the distance of time was never there.

Quite often, a chance encounter with pleasant strangers makes you forget for some time, a frustrating day at work, calms you down a little post that fight with a close friend,cheers you up slightly after a personal loss. 

While we look around for help and someone to vent out our grievances to, help finds us, in small packets of small ordinary distractions, which help in providing a clear, objective thinking, even if for some time. 

While we look for big fountains of happiness, nano moments of joy pass by us every single day.

It is totally up to us to touch them as they go, live these strange connections as much we live the deep known ones and feel the sweet feeling it can bring out in us at all times - even if, only, for some time.

How Forever Is Forever?

She was Always at

the back of his mind.

Her sweet little face

gentle and kind.

He would hear her laughter

when he tried to unwind

Which would smoothen and soften

the troubles that lined,

His life. As they Promised. Forever.

She was Always running

in his thoughts all day.

Everything would remind him

Of something she would say.

He would feel her satin hair

in the dark night when he lay

Which slowly caressed

all that darkness away.

Yes, she would stay. As they Promised. Forever.

Then just two years later

he found someone else,

like finding a rare pearl when

he was happy with the shells.

And the joy he felt,

as he happily tells

Was like finding a clear fountain

After digging a thousand wells.

But what happened of the promises

he had kept all this while?

The ones he held so close

now distanced a couple of miles

Had he not let them go,

Would he have felt the smiles?

That were now collecting within him.

Probably to Last. Forever.

So often we say 'Always'

Stopping to think never

that this, too, shall pass.

How forever is forever?

Nothing is eternal.

Everything has an end.

There is no 'forever'

No 'always'.There are turns and bends.

As he pulled his joy closer

And held his pearl tight,

He said, "Nothing lasts forever..

But I promise I would fight

All your troubles, all your pain

which lies within my sight,

And I promise that in togetherness,

I will be your glistening light,

And I hope and pray - 

That our bright day - 

Doesn't see the dark of the night."

The moonlight scattered around them,

A silvery shadow cast.

Yes, he made a promise.

But a promise that would last.

Pandora's Box

Slowly and stealthily,
She dragged it
In the dark of the street.
The wind whispered warnings
Aloof she walked, grinding
The stones under her feet.

In the still of the night,
In the silence of the sea,
She opened the empty box
To make ‘I’ of ‘we’.
To just breakaway
To just break free.

Kneeling in the water,
She threw in all his memories – 
The sparkle of his voice
The twinkle of his eyes,
Torn pieces of beautiful moments
His virtues and his vice.

The box lay quiet
Taking in her fears,
Her piercing sharp thoughts,
The unrequited love she sought,
The nights of passion,
The feelings they taught.

Then she clenched the chest to her’s,
With all the fury and anguish,
She wept.
And wept, and wept.
Then folding her tears carefully
In the brimming box she kept.

She closed the box tight
And kicked it into the sea
Her Pandora’s Box – the box of troubles
Gone, will now never be
Within her
She – was free.

Magic...

The day was as it always is,

The same sun, birds and sea.

The same cars zooming past the road,

The same people drinking tea.

The same children rolling with fun

The same him and me.

Walking down the good old street,

Talking away the day,

The same old things it seemed just when

He said he had something to say.

Sitting on a nearby bench,

 With the waters lying ahead.

A sudden silence dawned over

Things said unsaid.

Hazy feelings the mind saw,

Nothing that could be read,

He looked at me, then looked away.

I looked and did the same.

Staring at the sky overhead

Where the rosy sunset came.

The wind was blowing kisses,

The sun caressing my hair

Drizzles were touching his gentle face

The sky grew red for my share.

And then he turned and looked at me

Straight into my eyes...with care.

That look was all I saw then.

Those eyes were all i could feel

They touched, and touched me within me

A dream or something too real?

His eyes had all I wanted,

His love was all I wished,

And though a word wasn't spoken.

I knew "old things" had finished.

I knew life wasn't the same anymore.

I knew life would be relished

A smile was what I gave him

And he gave me a quick one back.

His hands went round my shoulder

My head rested on his, back.

The same sunset seemed all new now

More fresh and love -  giving

The people suddenly looked happy

The place had started living.

The wind blew in a different way

The sea became so loving.

And with it came the sense of belonging,

And sorrows seemed less tragic.

And with it came the beautiful feeling, 

The beautiful feeling...of pure magic.

Chastised Sins

Slow! Slow! Patiently
Drive it in - 
The illusion of dreams
was a chastised sin.
Would there be emancipation 
of the thoughts uttered in the head?
I just closed my eyes - 
The voice inside me said - 


" The world there laughs with you,
But does not ever cry.
If you cannot accept it
The truth becomes a lie.
To wipe off the love sometimes
You need to tinge it with hate.
Some things don't hold onto you,
Instead they hold onto fate.
And.
Sometimes the clouds of time,
Unravel the memories sweet.
Then covers and closes the dark boxes
In small, little packages neat.
Keeps them in different corners
Left untouched - of fear.
Of fear that if they open
Reality will be clear.
And if it meets the eye -  
A long, glistening tear.
Suddenly the things far away
Will seem so very near."


And I was left with nothing to think,
To feel, to lose or to win,
As - slowly and patiently
I had driven it in.
That those illusions, those dreams
were just..chastised sins.

Change.

They say nothing is permanent except change. It is the law of nature. The day gives way to the night. Seasons come and go. Trends change. The society and it's norms change. Times change. Thinking changes. And so do people.

The last one affects all of us to a great effect.

Its a little disheartening to realize the loss of plain acknowledgment from people who you've shared little secrets with. All because "Things Changed". Or a loss of a relationship because "Feelings Changed". Or a job lost because "Expectations Changed". Friends lost because "Cities Changed." Spouses lost because "Wants Changed." Seems that change has a good association with loss!

But is it always so? Do we fail to recognize the good changes? If change brings out the old, it also rings in the new. 

New people. New places. New oppurtunites. And isn't new - refreshing?

The good a bad change brings will be realized only when we acquire the ability to adapt to it comfortably. And though we know that change will never change, whats unchanging is the discomfort and restlessness change brings! The outlook towards which needs to be changed!

When.

When the sun dies
on still waters
When the night comes slowly
And the day shatters..


When sweet moonlight
brightens the trees
And reflects itself
on silent seas..


And the squirrels have slept,
and the rabbits are at rest - 
and the sound of your footsteps,
is all you can hear..
I will be there...
Close and near - 
Your light in the dark,
Your high flying lark - 
And when you've forgotten,
The joy in pain...
I will be your smile
Your rainbow after rain.


When dark clouds shadow,
I'll be your silver lining
And in the still of the night 
My dark Knight will be shining..


Together we'll make
Your dreams come true.
But when will this be?
When I'm with you.