PRESENCE OR ABSENCE?

My grandmother once told me to ' be like table salt...don't make much noise about being there, but then when you aren't , let everyone notice your absence.' At that time, it seemed like the most sound piece of advice. It probably also meant to be around for your loved ones unconditionally, doing things for them relentlessly, let yourself be seeped into their subconsciousness - but unconsciously - and to let them realize your worth only in separation. Or death. Much like grandmothers - they are always around doing sweet things so naturally, you only realize their full impact on you once they're gone.

But is that how we really are?

We secretly want our presence to be appreciated by every single one, every single time.

We enjoy attention because we all want to feel wanted.

While for some, we want to be wanted much more, we want to be needed.

Isn't that why we all absolutely resent being 'taken for granted'?

So many relationships usually fail, because people, usually men, try so hard to get the woman they desire, that once they finally have them, they mess it up. They are so used to her absence, they don't know what to do with the presence!

Or also because people, usually women, slip into such a comfort zone once they've found the man they always wanted, that they think he'll always, 'obviously' be around, and don't even notice the dimming spark!

Once lost, the cycle reaches 'absence' again, and only then do they value what they once had.

But is that how we really want to be?

We want to make a difference by us being there or not being there?

We want to be valued for our presence or absence?